Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Ugly Truth

I am still not ready to completely talk about it, but here it is, the ugly truth, I closed my other blog because my husband cheated on me and left me while I was deployed. He was kind enough to send me an email about it a week before I came home. I still dont think it has really set in, I have spent so much of my time readjusting to just being home, and moving, and going back to work and everything, that I havent dedicated much time to thinking about it. It does catch me off guard every once in a while and it hits me.

I am looking at this as an opportunity. A chance to do things differently the next time. The things that he did to me are unforgivable but I will be fine. I am still me and I still love my life and every part of it. I have amazing friends, a career I love, my horse that I enjoy immensely, and my new found love for crossfit that shows me I stronger than I think I am everyday. I still feel lucky and I dont know that I have ever been happier.

So you will see that my posts will shift a little bit. Obviously I will no longer be writing about my family. At some point I will start dating again (which I am sure will make for some interesting reading) and of course my coworkers always provide me great material.

I am slowly coming back to my blog and I will have some posts up soon.

In other news, proving the theory "ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG WILL", I was in my kitchen last night (first bad move) and got the brilliant idea to cut a ziptie off a knife with another knife. Both knives were brand new, I pick up one knife (of course the bigger, sharper one) and start to hack on the other one, all the while thinking to my extremely uncoordinated self, you know, your probably gona cut yourself. So of course I did, I sliced opened the back of my hand. I spent 3 hours in the ER got some stitches and now I am SUPER looking forward to the drive back to Ohio today to get the rest of my stuff, yes, ALL of my HEAVY furniture... YEY!!!!!!!


Katie said...

Jessi, I'm can't begin to imagine what that felt like to come home to, but I guess the only consolation I can offer is say at least he told you. The timing sucks, but can you imagine going through life and never knowing the truth? CF teaches you to be strong and keep going when things get rough, so I hope you can tap into that and move forward from this. While I don't know you personally, I feel for you and hope that things only get better from here. I am not in the military but I've dealt with my fair share of military men.... so I know the cheating feeling... in fact, it actually came to light because of my blog of all things. It sucks, but hang in there. Things will look up.

Chrissy said...

Oh, Jessi, I'm SO sorry. I thought something was going on when you were leaving Ohio but I figured you would talk about it when you were ready.

I know there's nothing anyone can say to make it better but this is a great place to let it all out so you can move past it.

And by the way, I would totally do that with the knives, too!


Southern Champagne Wishes said...

First of all, I would have totally cut myself with that knife, too - as I'm completely uncoordinated.

Second, I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage. I've never been married, but I know the feeling of being betrayed by someone that you love - and it's terrible. You sound like you are doing great though, and I'm glad. I defintely think having a fulfilling career as well as an amazing excercise and health plan makes all the difference in the world. I'll be thinking about you and I'm glad that you're starting a new blog!

Heidi Renée said...

Ugh, I wish I could just hug you right now. Maybe you should take those knives with you to Ohio just in case you need them.

You're an amazing lady and don't let anyone ever make you think otherwise!

Chrissy said...

I like Heidi Renee's suggestion. You know, I'm in Ohio if you need a lookout or anything.. :-)

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Sorry, I'm late getting to this one, but I am so sorry to hear to what happened.

You are a strong woman and this reaffirms that! Hugs...

Erin said...

I'm very, very sorry.

As a military spouse, who has been through the best and worst the military has to offer and a deployment, I feel it is unforgivable to cheat, especially during a deployment.

At least now you know who he really is and that you are definitely better off without him.

Please know that not all us military spouses suck. :) There are people out there who will stand strong with you, support you, and love you... even from half a world away. Good luck finding someone who will truly appreciate you.

I wish you all the luck in the world on your new adventures in your new life!